Sunday, January 15, 2012

MoFos Still Living In Bubble World About To Pop

Back in 1998 I worked for the law firm of Morrison & Foerster, LLP otherwise known as "MoFo".  I thought this law firm was really strange, that all the women who had been there for decades seemed to share the same type of characteristics being highly programmed and oblivious to the real world.  Much like the Borg on Star Trek, these women all seemed to have the same look and personality to them.  I never fit into this law firm which is why I only lasted one year.  We'd all work in the dark at night, since night people liked the lights off except at their desks, so it was a bit spooky at times.  My hours were 5:00 pm - 2:00 am.

It's interesting how a loan signing on I recently conducted brought all these MoFo memories back the forefront. (For those unaware, I'm a mobile notary public/ loan signing agent who conducts loan signings for borrowers in San Francisco.)

Last Friday I was assigned to a loan signing for one of the MoFo women, a legal secretary who had been working there since 2001.  I noted the unusual nature of this signing in how this was one of the few times someone didn't respond to my multiple touch base voice mails to her home and work numbers.  In fact, I had left four voice mails prior to calling her work number the next day only to get "I'm in the middle of a court filing, I'll call you back when I can."  It seemed my being in the real world outside the MoFo bubble wasn't very significant for this MoFo lady.  I noted she never apologized for not responding to my messages as others usually do.  It seemed she was a bit of a control freak typical of what I recall of MoFo women who dictate reality as they see fit.

The MoFo lady finally got a hold of me and asked for an appointment time to suit her schedule which was in three hours. She told me Bank of America at One Market Street would let us sign on their property but that turned out not to be so.  BofA apparently blew the MoFo lady off.  I thought to myself that's kind of strange, most banks accommodate their loans being financed.  Maybe the MoFo lady had came across too demanding.

When we met up at the bank the MoFo lady suggested the food court area to do the signing. When we got to the area I began to suggest an appropriate table space for us to use only to find the MoFo lady wanted to lead me far into the center of food court to her own choice of tables for no logical reason. I'm serious, the tables were all the same, the food places were all closed for the day so it made no sense.  My feet were tired. I wondered where was this MoFo lady dragging me to?

When we had finally reached the tables of her choice, the MoFo lady began asking me if she was supposed to provide information on the form of "all of her marriages".  I thought to myself, oh that's right, MoFo women have a hard time keeping their husbands, it makes total sense. After the MoFo lady filled out the confidential info form, we moved onto the significant body of documents including the Deed of Trust.

Allow me to say this MoFo lady is the only one I've ever witnessed out of hundreds of signings I've done to actually read through the entire Deed of Trust.  Any borrowers who may try to read through the 15 page tiny font document are always reminded they have a three day right to cancel so there's no need to read it all at the signing table.  Typical borrowers usually glance through or ask me a specific question about where to find info on the prepayment penalty or other info. This is because the Deed of Trust document is just standard legal jargon stuff except for whatever riders may come with it tagged onto the back.

I tried to let the MoFo lady know she had a three day notice right to cancel the loan so she could read through the DOT later at her convenience, but she just blew me off and continued to read.  I sat there stunned, this MoFo lady was the very first one to completely ignore me and continue to read through the entire Deed of Trust.  I made one more attempt to let her know as I sat in great discomfort from the iron chairs that she could read through the details later on her own time.  Once again, I was shrugged off and ignored, just like my voice mails.

It wasn't until a janitor came by to let us know we had to move for the clean-up crew that the MoFo lady finally stopped reading the Deed of Trust. "Oh, can we stay here five more minutes?" she begged him.  I noted the MoFo lady was lying to the janitor just like the MoFo lawyers do when it comes to timeframes.  I interrupted with, "this is going to take another 20 minutes."  With this, the Mofo lady finally stopped reading the DOT, signed it and moved on hurriedly with the rest of the documents.  All it took was a janitor with more authority then I apparently had, to get this lady out of her zombie trance state to do something about her situation.

On the way out I asked the MoFo lady about the health of the legal profession since the catastrophes of Heller Ehrman and massive layoffs and hiring freezes back of 2008. She said her law firm was immune from economic problems and they never really have anything to worry about losing their jobs.  I thought this MoFo lady obviously had no idea how bad things were getting in the world's collapsing economies that this time her law firm wouldn't be oblivious too.

What I learned from this signing was little hints of a macrocosm bubble world MoFo women live in for decades as programmed zombies living in an artificial world constructed by lawyers and corporations.  It's all going to pop like a bubble one day because none of it's real.

The moral of the story is don't be a MoFo, get real and prepare for world economic collapse and wars headed our way that's been created by a corrupt world banking system.