I'm here to tell you to FEAR GOD because there really is a hell! God mean's business! He's a righteous and sovereign God who so loves us but time is running out for people to get their act together so they can enter into eternal heaven instead of the hell we all deserve as sinners! The only way out of hell is through Jesus Christ and God is no respector of persons nor celebrities! He doesn't care if you're a famous rock star or t.v. actress people loved. If you reject His Son and don't follow Him you are going to burn in eternal hell and miss the tremendous gifts God so longs to give those who love and accepted Jesus into their hearts.
God's Breakthrough In My Life - 2012
My spiritual eyes were opened in 2012, I was able to see the Bible is all true after I woke up in a hospital bed and felt God's spirit telling me Jesus Christ was the true Messiah. A woman came to pray for me that day and the lack of desire for food caused me to fast putting me more in touch with God then ever before. I was completely depending on God and those He sent to help me heal from a catastrophic bike accident in which I came one foot away from certain death. I later turned to God and repented from my sins and all the wrongs I committed against Him throughout my life. I had actually believed I was a good person and whatever wrongs I committed weren't any big deal. Boy was I ever wrong! I was a sinner, nothing special from the rest and destined for hell that only Jesus could save me from but I was too ignorant of His Word to know it.
God had to take drastic measures to bring me back into the Christian fold throughout the year of 2012. I could hardly believe how terrifying it was what I went through, there were so many things that happened that it became crystal clear I was under Satan's attack on many fronts. I was like most people in our culture here in America who seem to have a case of spiritual amnesia when it comes to God and Jesus Christ. I later came to understand how sin really does blind us spiritually! We wake up as blind people each day without God in our lives due to sin.
Dark Family History of Bondage to Satan
As a little girl I read Bible stories, went to Sunday school, attended Catholic church services, catacism and confessional. Looking back, in spite of a misguided Catholic Church based in idols and occult based rituals, God's hand was clearly guiding me in life in spite of so much darkness. I often could feel His presence with me as a child being in total awe of God. I recall being enamored with films like Ten Commandments and Ben Hur and I recall the tears I once had when my mother once read me a Bible story.
Then the trends of the 1960's came in that took religion's place with my mother's influencing me through occult practices of Ouji Boards, Magic 8-Balls, Automatic Writing, Seances and Table Levitation. These seemingly innocent occult games of the culture were enough to do tremendous damage to me as a child and God had to let go due to this sin and curse being on my family for years to come. Instead of reading the Bible and praying, I was asking my Ouji Board questions or rubbing the mysterious glass on my Eight Ball. At my best, I was praying to my Virgin Mary statue as an idol before God with candles the next door neighbor had brought as a gift.
My first and only photograph in the newspaper was of me dressed in a witch costume for Halloween on a broomstick. My parents had done their job serving Satan setting my life up for failure. Their late night violent rage arguments had taken its toll on my mind that I ran away a few times. I was terrified of my mother and my father seemed to be entirely absent in mind, body and soul much of the time. He betrayed my mother in adultery that drove the woman mad and she took it out on me for years to come. Then came the rock and roll, my father got me the Sgt. Pepper Lonely Hearts Club band album along with my first stereo in 1968. Years later I learned the Beatles were heavily influenced by the Aleister Crowley, the most influential Satanist of the 20th Century and his face was on their album to boot!
Years later when I was 15 years old, in a moment of rage my mother told me I had come into the world unwanted that I was born out-of-wedlock. Looking back this made perfect sense why I wasn't really treated as my parents' daughter and why they had my sister in hopes of having a daughter through a marriage union, even though it was only civil. There were no wedding photos of my parents except their Halloween costumes I ever saw of them playing Caesar and Cleopatra or a Catholic Priest and Nun. My family's life had clearly been taken over and controlled by Satan, cursed by God for practicing the occult!
I recall a school teacher in junior high, perhaps even the principal, called my mother wanting to know why I wrote an essay on The Exorcist, a little odd for a kid to be reading. I was attracted to reading dark material and my mind wasn't in any shape to be learning much of anything so I did poorly in school. I recall not being able to keep awake after studying for 15 minutes, I'd always give into sleep when studying and struggled with basic algebra classes feeling intimidated by them. So the classes I took in high school were considered easy yet I only did average or below average in all of them. I thought I was really dumb and my parents did too.
My parents used the excuse of my being an average student from the years of damage their poor parenting did to conclude I wasn't smart enough for college. They treated me with great disrespect that I was below a dog that they didn't wait for me the day of graduating high school that I had to walk home alone. They lied to me about my alleged graduation gift being their old bed set but never allowed me to move it out of their home when I left. They didn't so much as take me out to dinner the day of graduation. This, after all the years of slaving for my parents who didn't care diddly squat about me or my future. For my 21st birthday I was given a cheap candle in a shoebox having been called up to the house to receive my gift.
For this treatment, I abandoned my family a few years only to find myself completely ignored later when I stopped by to say hello. I once visited to find my mother playing tarot cards alone at lunch time and when my father stopped by to fix her television, he didn't even speak with me. I recall when I turned 21 I was invited to go with my father and his new wife to my grandparents for Thanksgiving where I was ignored the entire ride up and placed at the child's table away from the adults. My grandmother hardly spoke with me and it was so boring I wanted to throw up.
Relatives weren't good to me so I completely abandoned them the rest of my life. I sent flowers to my grandmother before she passed away and did a website on my father's musician career, spoke with him on the phone a few minutes and that was the last I had anything to do with my relatives. I since hung up on my mother when she called to tell me my sister died and I haven't wanted anything to do with this Satanic family members ever since. I don't want their inheritance, I want Jesus Christ's and heaven to be my forever home with God. My role is to pray for them today that they will turn to God for His forgiveness, and I certainly have forgiven them as Jesus commanded I do.
I think I've presented a clear picture of the kind of oppression I was under without God in my life, I was extremely vulnerable for many years and a very lost person whom anyone could steer to their will quite easily. While I was very easily manipulated I also had a strong sense of right from wrong and wanted to do good in life. I dreamed of being successful somehow but was clearly deluded about my true plight from years of the damage my parents caused me with their bondage to Satan. I was homeless in the early 1980's and Christians helped me through hard times in 1986, 1989 in particular.
Back to the Breakthrough in 2012
Now that the reader has a good idea of my background growing up under entirely absent good parenting due to a broken marriage under Satan's dominion, I wanted to mention God has been involved in my life as much as He could under the circumstances of my lack of knowledge of His Will for my life. The year 2012 was a huge breakthrough that has opened the door to a real relationship with God through Jesus. For the first time I have a hunger to know God's Word that I even have a study Bible. Moreover I pray! I really love to pray to God and know He's in my life that I am saved! I was a backslidden Christian from the 1980's and God has brought me back to Him, but this isn't really about me. My life is over, I surrendered my life to Jesus. This is now about letting people know God means business! He is real! He is a terror to those who reject His Son and you are all in spiritual danger if you don't have a relationship with God being on the narrow road.
God is no respector of persons! People think they're okay with God when they're not! They think they can judge themselves as good as I did, when they have a Creator who has an entirely different set of standards. All of us are sinners, fallen humanity! None of us do good in God's eyes without accepting and following Jesus Christ. We have a Creator! There really was a Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, we are all part of fallen humanity and there is a Satan trying to get as many souls as He can to bring into hell with he and his fallen angels!
This is not some wild imagination story, this is all very real! Satan is like a hacker who entered the Garden of Eden to tempt Eve where he spread a horrendous virus throughout the world known as sin. Sin is the virus corrupting our world. I will elaborate on this more on this blog, a metaphor people can understand related to a modern day view of what caused our world to be such a fallen state, that it's going to all be replaced and Satan removed forever.
I had gotten to the point in life where I believed God was no longer an issue that He seemed to have become very docile and non-threatening. I seemed to be doing well on my way to an independent lifestyle but God wouldn't have any of it. I belong to God and nothing can change that fact.
Questions & Answers for Readers:
Why did you backslide from being a Christian back in the 1980's?
I believed I was a lesbian and that's why I moved to San Francisco to escape the reborn Christian community in the South Bay of So. California. I later came to understand I'm not a lesbian that I was confused by my emotions. Without God's Word we're bound to Satan's schemes and traps to destroy our friendships. I've had many friendships destroyed because I thought I was a lesbian. The dark year of 1998 proved to me lesbians were all about Satan and I haven't had any lesbian relationships or friendships since that time. It became crystal clear the idealized version of lesbians I had from my high school days were completely false. God wasn't at all pleased but I repented and He's since forgiven me.
What's Your View on Homosexuality Now That You're Saved?
God has saved me from homosexuality among a list of my particular sinful wanderings. I have an insight into gays and lesbians few have because of my having hung out with gay men in particular since the 1980's. I've had many gay male friends over the years. I used to believe they were victims of our culture and martyrs and the disco music of the 1970's also set me up for being delusional about them being all about love. Not! They're blind sinners and the worst part of this spiritual fact is though we are all sinners from fallen humanity, the reason they're particularly cursed by God is they see their sin as a lifestyle, a way of life they themselves approve of by leaving God completely out of the equation.
There is no such thing as a homosexual in heaven, it's as clear as day in His Word. Because this is how it goes, you either turn from your sin and ask God for forgiveness and follow Jesus, or you will have rejected the true Messiah and end up in hell. You're not allowed to continue practicing homosexuality nor call yourself a homosexual if you are a saved Christian. Jesus told the prostitute she was forgiven, but to sin no more. So for a gay or lesbian, when you become saved, you are no longer gay or lesbian, you turn from your sin and renew your mind with the Word of God and accept water baptism and the Holy Spirit. You completely depend on God and fear Him.
As a saved Christian, it's horrifying for me think how deceived gays and lesbians are to make everything okay for themselves in this Utopia without God, when the fact of the matter is Satan has them so deluded with lies and things they want to hear to sooth their conscience and self-worth they are in great spiritual danger. Great, great tremendous danger! I can't comprehend how anyone could prefer sexual sin with a person over the tremendous gifts God has extended to humanity through His Son Jesus who died for our sins at the cross. Jesus Christ's the only way out of hell. That's just the way it is.
As a Repented Christian What Do You Now Believe About Homosexuals who "Come Out" of their Closets to the Public Such as 70's Child Actress Kristy McNichol Whom You Did a Fan Website of in 2003?
I don't personally judge these people who come out because I understand where they're coming from. What people coming out as homosexuals to the world are really saying is
"I've become my own judge and god having chosen sin as a lifestyle and am free to lie and contradict God's Word that it's not my choice at all to reject God. Homosexuality was my identity at birth and there's no way for me to deny it's who I am. I have therefore chosen to believe and accept Satan as my god that I have chosen hell as my eternal destination as I remain in a godless fake Utopia to sooth my nerves God doesn't really care or exist in my life and His Word is some archaic script of madmen. I don't fear God because I am rewarded with many carnal pleasures for my commitment to sin."
Out of Godly love Christians have good reason to let gays and lesbians know that they've been deceived by the god of this world Satan that their sin is okay and trendy goodness. It's my duty to forewarn gays and lesbian there really is a God and His Word is 100% true that they are in great spiritual danger of eternal suffering in hell. God takes restraints off Satan to torment those Christians such as myself who backslide trying to do things their own way without obedience. Obeying God greatly pleases Him, not doing so will bring great fear into a Christian's life. For the unsaved they're just so blind they have no idea what's going on that only Christians can let them know they're in danger of God's judgment at any time!
What About Heterosexuals, They Sin Too!
Yes, they do sin but as long as they're married under God's authority they can work out their relationships with God's help through His Word, pastors and the Holy Spirit. Homosexuals don't have those resources at all, they're on their own without God as utterly hopeless. As far as married adulterers, they're also in sin but they can easily turn and ask God for forgiveness, they don't make a lifestyle choice as homosexuals do to keep sin alive and well in their lives, at least they know adultery is wrong in the eyes of God. Homosexuals have made their sin "love" and there's no end to the amount of twisting of truth they tend to do to make things right in their Utopian fake godless world. God hates homosexuality! If you're a gay or lesbian the only choice you have is to give it all up for Jesus Christ or perish into eternal hell! This is extremely serious, gays have made life way too casual. What they're facing is the worst horror imaginable of suffering for eternity.
You Seem To Have a Lot of Unresolved Issues With Your Parents, What's With That?
I had to provide a testimony on this blog and my parents happened to be a heavy influence of sin and darkness in life. I have forgiven my parents, something that's very natural for a saved Christian to do. I pray for their salvation in Jesus. My mother's been prone to false doctrine of demons throughout her life. I had a natural inclination from God's spirit to forgive all of my enemies and those who sinned against me in my life, that's what happens when you're saved from eternal hell. I became grateful to Jesus because He's not obligated to save any of us, He did the work at the cross and was raised from the dead and all we are asked to do is accept His gift of eternal life and forgiveness and to follow Him through His Word and the Holy Spirit. As a saved Christian you can't harbor any ill will or feelings towards those in your former life. That's just the way it is. Regardless that I have forgiven my parents, I'm not permitted by God to do anything but pray for them at this point in time.
What Are Your Gifts and Role in Christendom God Has Provided, Do You Yet Know What They Are?
I'm to be an intercessory prayer person to pray in the Holy Spirit for unsaved and backslidden Christians for their salvation and to get the news out about Jesus and that time is running out. I am to forgive my enemies and give God my anger problems that were based in self-righteousness. I am to witness to Christians about what God did for me to get my attention that He has healed me of my injuries and provided full support and resources to reclaim my Christian walk with Him.
If you don't like what I'm communicating here, please don't blame me, I'm just a messenger trying to forewarn you! I gave a lot of my time to gays and lesbians and didn't discriminate but sympathized. I wasn't ever really one of them, I never took the plunge and I never even had oral sex with a woman. I will not have sexual relations with men or women ever again and have been celibate a long time because I belong to God, to Jesus Christ.
Please keep in mind unless you're an obedient Christian you are officially spiritually blind without God in your life. If you want to see and understand God's Scriptures, accept Jesus Christ as your eternal Savior with all your heart and ask for His forgiveness of your sins. Let go of your pride and come to realize man did fall from God's grace, that the only way back is through His Son Jesus who died for our sins and was raised from the grave having defeated death for all those who accept Him.